Colin v. Cuthbert — A tale of two caterpillar reputations

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Word reaches me from across the Atlantic that untold damage is allegedly being done to the richly-deserved (mmm, rich-chocolatey deserved) reputation of Colin the Caterpillar (a delicious chocolate roll cake bought by many a lawyer known to me over the years to celebrate special occasions with fellow attorneys) by an imposter!

Poor Colin has worked very hard to build up his brand, over an impressive 30 years apparently – who knew they could live that long?! And thus, he has had no option but to reach his many but diminutive little legs for his lawyers. While he might prefer to launch himself into the stratosphere as a beautiful and be-winged butterfly, he is instead launching legal proceedings (via his “Litigation Friend” Marks and Spencer) against his nemesis, Cuthbert the Caterpillar and the supermarket Aldi.

One suspects that neither Colin nor Cuthbert care much about the legal niceties – or nasticies. And no doubt Cuthbert has a thing or two to say about this – perhaps in his defence reaching for a line from The Life of Brian, “We are all individuals…”

But as I always say, one’s reputation is one’s greatest and most valuable asset. If Colin feels that his is damaged by the eerily similar look of the new pretender, a show-down with Cuthbert in the courts may bring vindication.

But I have another query. Reporting the litigation in Eater and following a news report by the BBC reports are that Colin is “the longest serving chocolate caterpillar on the market”. What intrigues me therefore, is whether Colin has served the market for the greatest amount of time that a chocolate caterpillar has ever served the market… Or whether, even in the fairly limited but seemingly cut-throat world of chocolate caterpillars, size does matter after all, and Colin is the longest serving chocolate caterpillar that ever was.

Over to the great minds of the British judiciary to ponder these weighty issues.

This article was originally published on LinkedIn on April 15, 2021.

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