[Jocelyn Tsao]
How your family moves forward after divorce can be complex, particularly where children are involved. There can be a lot of confusion around terminology such as 'custody', 'care and control', and 'access' that can be quite misleading sometimes. It's important that you know how these situations differ in order to understand what's best for you and your family.  

[Joanne Lam]
A common misconception is that custody relates to where your child lives day to day, when what it is really concerned about is the right to make important decisions on their behalf. This could be, for example, your child's education, their religion, their country of residence and major medical decisions such as whether or not they will have surgery. Custody can be joint between two parents or sole to one parent. In the event sole custody is granted to the other parent, this does not mean that you are shut off from your child's life –as irrespective of whether you share custody or there is a sole custodian, you both retain joint responsibility for your child, and that includes the right to be heard on all important decisions. Ultimately, the process recognises that there are two parents who both care for and want the best for their children. 

[Jocelyn Tsao]
Care and control is, in fact, about where the child lives with on a day-to-day basis. This means making everyday decisions for your child – anything from diet to their bed time routine or what activities they participate in. 

[Shaun Ho]
And finally, access refers to the ability to see your child, even if you don't live with them. Access can be specific and defined, or simply reasonable access without details. When details are not specified, you work out the arrangements that are best for you and your children together with your separating partner. Defined access outlines specific arrangements, for instance, which day or what times of the week you see your child, or how you split the holidays. It gives structure around seeing both parents, which is often in the children's best interests. If you and your partner agree to both have substantial time with your children, you can consider shared care instead. This does not necessarily mean an equal split of time, but rather a more balanced arrangement where the child spends substantial time with both parents.

[Jocelyn Tsao]
While this can feel overwhelming, we can help explain your options clearly and guide you throughout the process. You can also enlist the help of a parental coordinator or mediator to figure out a parenting plan that works for you and your separating partner. The end goal will be the decision that's best for you and your children, so that everyone can move forward with certainty.